Drew Garside (dregster) wrote,
Drew Garside

  • Music:

David Cross is funny

I was just listening to David Cross describe Red Neck's shooting their mouths out in a fight:

"and uh, the best thing about being the south is the rare but wonderful oppertunity you get to see a red neck fight. It's a treat, man. It's so awesome when your sitting there and they are puffing their chests up and they're all just coming up with this crazy bullshit."

"uh uh man, naw man, you don't wanna rowl me man, you just rowl'd the wrong mother fucker man, naw, you dun even know man, I'm the last guy you wanna fuck with man. you don't know me man, I'll fuckin kill your ass man, you dun even know. I'm like a earthquake, wrapped in a hurricane neslted in a box of tsunami's man. that's what I am, I'm like a mother fuckin' natural disaster times triplicate, man, fuckin waiting to get your ass. cause I'm trained in super secret martial arts, man, shit I can't even tell you, I had to live underwater for a year man. I know forty three ways to fuckin kill you with a pamento man. Don't fuck with me, you don't wanna fuck me, cause I know super ninja shit man. right now I just turned invisible, you did'nt even know that! I just turned invisibile. you lookin at me cause you heard my voice. you think you seen me but i just turned invisible! I put all my visibility on to you! So you double-visible now! what you gonna do mother fucker? you can run but you can't hide cause I'll find your ass. Your double visibile and I'm invisible so, fuckin' that negates itself! how about that shit man, you don't even know! I know a super-secret fuckin way to just take my eyelash man, take my eyelash and go 'peep' and fuckin put it in your eye man, and you fuckin dead man. you dead for an hour. you don't even know it man, you walk around thinking you alive, but you been dead for an hour, man. you dont even know man, I'm laughing at you, your all dead for an hour and I'm all invisible and shit. you opened up the wrong mother fuckin can of worms man, cause this is you goin : oh man what's this can of worms? I'm goin to try this can of worms out, man. you fuckin open it up, ya know and it takes you a long time because you got one of dem ol' can openers, it aint electric, it crank out like this. you go to peel the top off ( but be careful man, cause that shit's sharp). then you all: hey look at that, that aint nothing but a stupid little can of worms, whats that all about? I don't give a shit about that little can of worms, then when your backs turned all them worms climb up on top of each other and form ONE BIG WORM! and kill you with this worm like veracity! thats what it is."
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